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Yarn Syndrome…alas…I have it


Adapted from a quilters’ newsletter in North Carolina…author unknown.

A recent study has indicated that yarns give off certain pheromones that hypnotize women and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts of yarn. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the pheromones in the yarn causes memory loss and induce the gathering syndrome, similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter.

Sound tests have also revealed that these yarns emit a very high-pitched sound heard only by a select few, known as stitchers. When played backward, the sounds are heard as chants…’Buy me! Knit me!’ Furthermore, pheromones seem to cause a pathological need to secret the yarn purchases away when one takes them home and blend them into the existing stash. When asked by a significant other if the yarn is new, the reply is, “oh, I’ve had it for a while!”

In order to overcome the so-called feeding frenzy effect that these yarns cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility, and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. It is also beneficial to enter these storage facilities without the presence of cash or credit cards.

Sad to say, the addictive qualities of this compulsive behavior are cumulative, and are ameliorated only by the purchase of more and more and more yarns.

No cure is known at this time.

((I found this posted on a forum. I did not write it, but I also have no idea who did. I meant to make that clear, sorry for the miss disclaimer! ))

 

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2 thoughts on “Yarn Syndrome…alas…I have it

  1. Very, very funny. …and possibly true???? lol. Also, I got to see your “snow” on your weather widget – the first I’ve seen. Sadly, I’ll never see it on mine, since I live in Hot-Cha-Cha Florida. What I wouldn’t give for a cup of hot chocolate. Patsye

  2. We ended up with almost 3ft of snow Patsye. Not sure you’d miss THAT much . Luckily, it got above freezing today and the snow on the tree branches and feeders mostly melted. The trees were really bent over. I have a couple piccies I took at 2:30 am that I’ll get up later on. Just got done bringing in more wood and hubby was snowblowing all afternoon so now we’re going to put in a movie and have that cocoa. hehe.

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